Ok … this is therapeutic blogging at it’s best. For some of my readers, I know this will provide therapeutic laughter, so all in all, we’re saving thousands of dollars here. [Also part of my therapy in this particular situation is a small glass of red wine that I’m sipping.]
Going green … it ain’t easy, but as some of you know, we’re making an attempt here at the Shinn household on some small scales. Yes, this is my new kick. Slowly I’ve been educating myself, making some small changes and doing a few experiments along the way. Today, our house guests, Matt & Amber, offered to cook dinner, so I took the opportunity to do some extra cleaning. Having done some internet research on some homemade cleaning products that are more environmentally friendly and cost effective, I’ve been doing quite a bit of cleaning with simply a vinegar and water solution, which has worked really well. I have searched for a homemade wood floor cleaner, as what I’ve been using is expensive, and we go through quite a bit since most of our living space is wood floor. MANY web sites have suggested what I’m about to tell you, so cut me just a little bit of slack before you pee your pants laughing! The most often suggested concoction to clean wood floors is 1/2 cup vinegar and 1/2 cup … vegetable oil. OK … when I first read it I too thought it was nuts, but having found the suggestion on multiple sites from multiple sources, I thought there must certainly be some sort of safe chemical reaction between the vinegar and vegetable oil that would leave my floors to be clean, shiny and the envy of all of Santa Barbara. [Yes … I do realize vegetable oil is simply a nice way of saying “grease,” which is often the main thing I’m working so hard to remove from the kitchen floors, cabinets, and pendant lights, but again, my green web friends had not failed me to this point.]
So, off I went, polishing with my “almost a salad dressing” concoction. The floors looked shiny, the dirt was coming up easily, so I continued on … 1000 square feet or whatever it is we have. I finished all the floors and stood back with admiration … beautiful and very green, though slightly smelling of a deep frier. I then moved back to the end of the house I started in … and almost slipped as if stepping on a banana peel. What was that? I reached down to feel the floor and was (surprisingly) shocked at how utterly slick the floor was! Shiny, yes, but dangerously slick. I warned the kids to stay in the blue room (where there is safe, oil-free carpet), and quickly made some of my new staple concoction - vinegar and water. I went back over the whole floor with this mixture, sure the vinegar would do it’s grease-cutting magic. Once again, I finished all the flooring and went back for a closer examination of the starting point. Nope. Still law-suit level slickness. And Garth pulled into the driveway right about then.
Once again I thought quickly, grabbed the faithful dish soap and a bucket of hot water and went over the floor now a third time. As I write this, I’ve not yet examined the results. I needed therapy first.
So, as a good, green scientist, I must admit that failures simply provide an opportunity to learn. Here’s what I’ve learned:
- Oil is intended to make things slick. That property doesn’t really change with the addition of vinegar.
- The advertised green living concoction of oil and vinegar to clean wood floors would only be valuable if our kids were training for Olympic speed skating (they are not … at least not yet, though I may time them around the pool table later tonight to see if either of them have potential).
- There are limits to how green we can be. Sometimes it’s just easier to grab the Orange-Glo and take 20 minutes to clean, rather than spend 3 1/2 hours.
It didn’t seem fair of me to not share this seemingly disastrous event. Besides … I wouldn’t want you to make the same mistake. Please … let the comments flow. (I’m sorry if caused anyone to wet their pants in a coffee shop or other public place.)