Dealing with getting older
My friend’s dad is dying. It’s been obvious for a while, but the reality is setting in. I spoke with her for a long time yesterday … she’s miles away in Tennessee, so listening on the phone is about all I can do in the way of support right now. It’s strange, really … strange to think I’m now old enough that this scenario will repeat itself many times over. I’m 36 years old, and I’m guessing over the next 10 years there will be many friends who will lose one or both parents … and there will be that time I have to walk through that myself …
When I was listening to Julie talk about end-of-life decisions they have been confronted with, such as life support, DNR wishes (do not resuscitate), and hospice care, I nearly wanted to hang up the phone … not because I didn’t want to share in this with her, because I do, but because I wanted to protest being at this place in life … being, if you will, middle aged and understanding this is a reality and the cycle of life will continue despite every protest I make.
Death is something we so rarely think about … at least something I so rarely think about. Well, maybe I’m actually thinking of the dying process … when someone who is so sick they will not recover begins to slip into death. I guess when I think about it, most of the deaths I’ve been confronted with were due to accidents or tragedies, or they were "normal" … for example, it seemed basically normal when my Grandparents died. I mean, it wasn’t a pleasant thing to go through, but from the time I was a baby, my Grandparents were old … they are supposed to die. But now, my friends parents? Or, even, as I shudder to think … my friends themselves …
I’m not ready to be old. I don’t know if anyone reads this blog, but if you do and you know me, you’re probably thinking, "Jen, you’re not old." Maybe I’m not old in the fact that my life expectancy is probably 78 (I just looked at that a couple of days ago when I did my annual financial outlook … I’m on track to retire at 62, in case you’re wondering!) so I still have 42 years of life in me … but I’m old when I think of all those close to me who, with every passing day, are closer to dealing with death … someone they love or even their own. My friend’s dad is dying …